Monday 16 November 2015

When Outfit Photos Go Wrong II: Revenge Of The Camera

Outfit photography lesson 1: Beware the wind

Last year I wrote about how bad outfit photos had conquered my fear of cameras and I had cause to think about this again recently. My brother got married and, during the rehearsal on Friday evening, Thomas was roaming round with a camera snapping off shots.

Inevitably, I looked absolutely awful in every one: slouching shoulders, greasy hair, scrunched up face, boobs looking - as always - ridiculously disproportionate to the rest of my body. A couple of years ago I'd have had a breakdown after seeing them. I'd certainly have cried and demanded they were deleted, proceeding to spend the whole weekend in a deep funk, convinced I constantly looked that terrible. I'd most likely have refused to be photographed at the wedding.

But instead, I shrugged it off. So there were some bad photos of me? So what? I'd been driving for three hours, was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and the photographer was snapping candid shots. No wonder I looked a mess.

And at the wedding, I happily posed for photos: I had a handsome man on my arm and an outfit both classy and comfortable. Why would I refuse?

It's entirely thanks to photographing my outfits for this blog that my attitude has taken such a 180 (well, that and the aforementioned handsome man, it being hard to really hate your appearance when someone you love and admire tells you you look beautiful).

I've learnt that it's entirely possible to look completely unlike yourself in a photo: a shutter clicked at the wrong moment and I look utterly ridiculous; a moment later, radiant. The more photographs of me that are taken, the more forgiving I can be of the terrible ones.

So now seemed like a good time to release into the world the next batch of outfit photo outtakes, of which I have many. Particularly because, in the absence of a dry weekend in which to take photographs, I haven't managed to do an actual outfit post in months.

1. When I'm nervous, I move my hands a lot: as a result, every batch of outfit photos includes numerous ones of me with blurry limbs. This also features the dreaded double chin.
2. Thomas had probably just told me a terrible joke.
 1. Don't know what to do when you're posing? Me either, but I can tell you that awkwardly messing with your belt whilst talking constantly is never a good idea. 2. If I remember rightly, I was looking at a cat when this was taken: how that's made me look like a zombie, I don't know.

 And what do you do with your hands? Maybe pretending to slam-dunk a basketball wasn't the best idea. I know, I'll cup my boobs instead, that'll work.

And the ever-present eye problem. I always close my eyes in photos, but perhaps that's the better option if my only other one is to stare maniacally.